“I went through an emotional trauma. That’s left me feeling helpless and emotionally out of control 3 years ago. I gained 50 pounds. Shortly after it happened to me I went on a diet and lost 30 pounds in the past (going on 2 years now). I’ve gained 15 of that back.
I’ve noticed in the past year or so that no matter what I do, I can’t lose any more weight… I workout at home (5-6 times a week). I do cardio for 20-60 min almost every day and lift weights. I also eat very healthy, no pop, no fast food etc…
I’m female, 22, 5’9″ and weigh 210, and I’m desperate. I wonder if did too much dieting/diet pills and those pounds will ever come off. I know a lot about fitness and nutrition because of the career path I want to follow, but my weight is deterring me and I don’t know what to do. Please help!”
I got this DM a few weeks ago. I know how it feels when you are trying to achieve something and it’s not working.
I always share with you my healthy tips and tricks, but when it comes to stress berat I want you to give you the best advice. I asked my friend Eva Nagy, who is fitness trainer and weight loss coach, gave me advice that change my thinking about dieting and weight loss. She also told me that sometimes going to the gym and eating clean isn’t the key. She struggled with her body and weight most of her life. Through her healing journey and through working with other women with similar
histories, she learned that women with past stress berat need to break away from the traditional weight loss approach.
histories, she learned that women with past stress berat need to break away from the traditional weight loss approach.
I asked her to write this blog post in hope that it will help you as much as her advice helped me. Here is what she says:
Dieting and exercising alone doesn’t work for women who experienced trauma. They need a different strategy to succeed.
Here is why…
Trauma changes us. It alters the relationship we have with ourselves and our bodies, the
way we relate to others or cope with stress, and our daily choices.
People who go through childhood stress berat don’t feel safe to be their true selves. They
believe that they need to be someone else to meet others’ expectations and to be loved.
Becoming sensitive to others’ needs and feelings and turning into givers and pleasers is
how they survive. While they take responsibility for others’ feelings and needs, they
disconnect from their own and begin neglecting themselves. Self-neglect is painful and
creates a lot of inner struggle and anxiety. To ease this pain, they eat, drink, smoke, use
drugs, or develop other types of addictions.
This self-neglect and disconnection from one’s body and needs and living in survival
mode is the reason for the weight gain in the first place.
Will simply beginning an exercise jadwal and eating healthy change these dynamics?
Of course, it won’t unless the person is aware of the root cause of their weight gain and
heals their past trauma.
way we relate to others or cope with stress, and our daily choices.
People who go through childhood stress berat don’t feel safe to be their true selves. They
believe that they need to be someone else to meet others’ expectations and to be loved.
Becoming sensitive to others’ needs and feelings and turning into givers and pleasers is
how they survive. While they take responsibility for others’ feelings and needs, they
disconnect from their own and begin neglecting themselves. Self-neglect is painful and
creates a lot of inner struggle and anxiety. To ease this pain, they eat, drink, smoke, use
drugs, or develop other types of addictions.
This self-neglect and disconnection from one’s body and needs and living in survival
mode is the reason for the weight gain in the first place.
Will simply beginning an exercise jadwal and eating healthy change these dynamics?
Of course, it won’t unless the person is aware of the root cause of their weight gain and
heals their past trauma.
Most women who are givers and pleasers put themselves last on their to-do list. They
have a hard time saying “no” to others or standing up for themselves. They also try to
avoid conflict at all costs, even if the cost is their inner peace or health. They don’t like
asking for help and don’t know how to receive from others or how to give to themselves.
If a woman has been putting herself last for her entire life to survive, beginning a self-
care routine goes against the way she functions. It isn’t only uncomfortable but can also
feel life-threatening.
Putting her attention on herself and her needs can create friction at every part of her life;
relationships, friendships, and career. It’s no wonder that women who begin exercising
and dieting fall off their routine eventually. And even if they stick to it, they end up
sabotaging themselves with emotional eating or drinking to cope with the inner conflict.
But continuing to live with self-neglect will never make one feel whole and healthy.
So, if you’ve experienced trauma, how should you approach weight loss or—as I prefer
to say—your self-care routine?
Learn that you matter.
Go from resenting who you are and your body to loving yourself.
Turn your self-neglect into self-care.
Become sensitive to your own needs and feelings.
Understand and start meeting your basic physical and emotional needs.
Learn to cope with stress and the changes that come with the transformation in a healthy
way.
Learn to draw boundaries; say “no” to others and “yes” to yourself.
Speak up and stand up for yourself.
Get better at tolerating conflict.
Develop a regular self-care routine.
That is the only way you will be able to make the necessary changes that will help you not only achieve weight loss that lasts but also a harmonious and happy life.
Making these changes is not easy, and it takes longer than a thirty or sixty-day weight
loss program. It is also important to have the right support and be surrounded by people
who are going through a similar journey.
If you are someone who has been struggling to keep up a regular self-care routine or if you have been pembinaan and dieting without much success, my suggestion is to change
your approach. Instead of fighting with your body and nature, shift your beliefs, learn to
love yourself, and become more sensitive to who you are.
If you need support and inspiration, join my Facebook community, Weight Loss Through the Soul Community (women only).
So, if you’ve experienced trauma, how should you approach weight loss or—as I prefer
to say—your self-care routine?
Learn that you matter.
Go from resenting who you are and your body to loving yourself.
Turn your self-neglect into self-care.
Become sensitive to your own needs and feelings.
Understand and start meeting your basic physical and emotional needs.
Learn to cope with stress and the changes that come with the transformation in a healthy
way.
Learn to draw boundaries; say “no” to others and “yes” to yourself.
Speak up and stand up for yourself.
Get better at tolerating conflict.
Develop a regular self-care routine.
That is the only way you will be able to make the necessary changes that will help you not only achieve weight loss that lasts but also a harmonious and happy life.
Making these changes is not easy, and it takes longer than a thirty or sixty-day weight
loss program. It is also important to have the right support and be surrounded by people
who are going through a similar journey.
If you are someone who has been struggling to keep up a regular self-care routine or if you have been pembinaan and dieting without much success, my suggestion is to change
your approach. Instead of fighting with your body and nature, shift your beliefs, learn to
love yourself, and become more sensitive to who you are.
If you need support and inspiration, join my Facebook community, Weight Loss Through the Soul Community (women only).